I'm Not Who I Was....Sometimes

I am Brandon Heath nuts right now...please bear with me. :) Take a look at the video and then proceed to my humble scrawling.




Brandon Heath - I'm Not Who I Was

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
______________________________________________

I love this song. It states with beautiful clarity the transforming power of coming to know Christ. Before Christ we are one thing, and after Christ we become something different. We see life different. We see hope different. We see death different. The list can go on and on. But, as the old saying goes, “The more things change, the more things remain the same.”

Now, I am not saying that Christ does not change us, because it is very clear that He does. What I am saying is that the change that takes place is as much a part of what we do as it is what Christ does. (Oh, I can just hear some people now, “Heretic!”…Just let me finish my thought, then feel free to leave a comment) :)

My point: The moment I realized I NEEDED Christ, you know really NEEDED Christ, I knew that my life would never be the same. And, it has NOT been the same. Life has been different. I know that I am accountable for the things I do every day and the way I walk the path that He has put before me. I know that when I walk, I do not walk alone. I know that my heart aches to be more like Him. My life has changed in dramatic ways. So technically, I’m not who I was. But, let’s look at this from a different angle.

Can I ask a question? If the transformation that takes place was all in God’s hands, then wouldn’t it be over at that moment that He came into our life? The transformation would be complete and I would no longer have any struggles to stay on the “straight and narrow.” Can I ask another question? Do any of you that have already claimed Christ as you Lord and Savior ever have a hard time staying on the “straight and narrow”, or is it just me?

I have struggles daily. I have those times in my life that I think to myself, “Brad, you just blew it that time.” I have those times in my life that if the world witnessed my actions they would never have guessed that I was a Christian. I am not alone in this. Paul said, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” If Paul failed, isn’t it alright to admit that we do also. Struggles come daily, and I do not always handle them the way I should.

So, maybe I do have to do something for the whole transformation thing to take place. What could that be......?

Luke 9:23 says, “Then he said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.’” Did you pick up the important word in this sentence? Deny…No. Cross…No. Follow…No. All of these are great words that we do need to practice, but it is not the important word in regards to this post. The important word is DAILY. We are to daily take up our cross. We are to daily die to ourselves and say to Christ, “I choose to follow You and let You guide my day.” There are days that I am Superman at doing this. There are days that as soon as my feet hit the ground I put my fist on my hips and proclaim with strength in my voice (you can just see the cape flapping behind me can’t you), “I am ready, willing and excited to allow Christ to take control today!” But, can I be honest. Those days do not happen as frequently as I would like. No, most days my feet hit the floor and my knuckles drag the floor and I mumble under my breath, “Oh, crap…another day.” I am about to admit something that may not shock a lot of people reading this post: It is during the knuckle dragging days that I am not proud of the things I do. It is during the knuckle dragging days that I echo Paul and say, “What I hate I do!”

So, does it take action on our part for the transformation to take place…I think so. Do we have to do more than just accept Christ as our Lord…I think so. Is this “action” we are to take something that has to happen every day…I think so. Is it hard to do this…I know so.

Am I more than I once was…I think so, but man does it take some work. (Which is what I think Brandon is saying) :)

Keep Looking Up!

I Lost One Of My Heros

I lost one of my hero’s yesterday.

This hero of mine was not a hero because of anything that he did with sports. This hero of mine was not a hero because of did anything in the music or movie industry. This hero of mine was not a hero because of what he did in politics. This hero of mine was a hero because of how he lived his life from day to day.

I only had the honor of meeting this hero of mine once, but it was at this encounter that John Sills became one of my heroes. John had come to Houston with his lovely wife Alicia to seek treatment for the cancer that was raging within his body. My wife and Alicia had been communicating with each other via email for some time, so when we found out that they were close we had to set up a meeting. Now, this is where I have to be honest. I wanted to meet John and Alicia so that they understood that they were not in this battle alone. I wanted them to know that our prayers and support were always going to be with them. I wanted to go to be a sign of strength for them in this very hard time. Those are the reasons that “I” wanted to go. I will now begin to tell you why GOD wanted me to go.

God wanted me to go to meet a true hero. You see, when we met in that simple “hamburger joint” to share a meal, I did not know what God had in store for me. We had a great visit. My wife and Alicia seemed to truly enjoy getting to finally meet after all those years of email communication. The typical joyful banter went back and forth across the table for several minutes. During this time, I was sitting next to my wife in the booth thinking to myself that they probably did not want to talk about “the illness”. I have worked years as a Hospice Chaplin! I have spent years studying and applying grief counseling in all kinds of very difficult situations! I know how people handle situations like these! You know what, I didn’t know diddly! After a few minutes of the “get to know you talk”, we began to move very comfortably into discussion of the journey that this lovely couple was walking together. Alicia moved the conversation the most. John seemed very tired from the traveling and all the tests, but when he did speak peace flowed from his words. John did not speak with perfect “theological” terminology (you know what I'm talking about, it seems that some try to fill moments like these with theology...like it will somehow make everyone feel better), but when he did speak a confidence of knowing that God was with him came out very clearly. His words were few, but the peace that covered him spoke volumes. I was in the presence of a true hero.

I am not here today to tell you that John is a hero because EVERY moment of his life portrayed such confidence. I was not with him every day. I know that he was human. I know that there were probably those times when the halls of his mind where only he and God dwell were filled with thoughts of fear, unknowing, and sadness. I am here to tell you that he is one of my hero’s because of these thoughts. He is one of my hero’s because he faced the path that God had placed him on with courage. Mark Twain once said, “It is curious—curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.” That is why John is one of my hero’s. He was placed on a path that none of us want to walk and stood with Moral Courage and said, “Thy will be done.” John is a hero because he proved that an illness can tear at your body but not have to also tear at your soul.

At 4:50 am on March 9th, this world became less of what it once was and heaven became just that much more.

We love you John.

I Need HIS Eyes

I am going to post a video that puts into Song what I think my Zombie friend put very clearly in words. I know I did not ask your permission first Zombie (sorry my friend) :)



Brandon Heath
Give Me Your Eyes lyrics

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere,
Why have I never cared?

Chorus:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
Ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see
Yeah
Yeah

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide what's underneath
There's a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
Too ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time
All those people going somewhere
Why have I never cared?

Chorus

I've Been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all along

Chorus (x2)