I'm Not Who I Was....Sometimes

I am Brandon Heath nuts right now...please bear with me. :) Take a look at the video and then proceed to my humble scrawling.




Brandon Heath - I'm Not Who I Was

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was

I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was

When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you

I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was

I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about

I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
______________________________________________

I love this song. It states with beautiful clarity the transforming power of coming to know Christ. Before Christ we are one thing, and after Christ we become something different. We see life different. We see hope different. We see death different. The list can go on and on. But, as the old saying goes, “The more things change, the more things remain the same.”

Now, I am not saying that Christ does not change us, because it is very clear that He does. What I am saying is that the change that takes place is as much a part of what we do as it is what Christ does. (Oh, I can just hear some people now, “Heretic!”…Just let me finish my thought, then feel free to leave a comment) :)

My point: The moment I realized I NEEDED Christ, you know really NEEDED Christ, I knew that my life would never be the same. And, it has NOT been the same. Life has been different. I know that I am accountable for the things I do every day and the way I walk the path that He has put before me. I know that when I walk, I do not walk alone. I know that my heart aches to be more like Him. My life has changed in dramatic ways. So technically, I’m not who I was. But, let’s look at this from a different angle.

Can I ask a question? If the transformation that takes place was all in God’s hands, then wouldn’t it be over at that moment that He came into our life? The transformation would be complete and I would no longer have any struggles to stay on the “straight and narrow.” Can I ask another question? Do any of you that have already claimed Christ as you Lord and Savior ever have a hard time staying on the “straight and narrow”, or is it just me?

I have struggles daily. I have those times in my life that I think to myself, “Brad, you just blew it that time.” I have those times in my life that if the world witnessed my actions they would never have guessed that I was a Christian. I am not alone in this. Paul said, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” If Paul failed, isn’t it alright to admit that we do also. Struggles come daily, and I do not always handle them the way I should.

So, maybe I do have to do something for the whole transformation thing to take place. What could that be......?

Luke 9:23 says, “Then he said to them all: ‘If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.’” Did you pick up the important word in this sentence? Deny…No. Cross…No. Follow…No. All of these are great words that we do need to practice, but it is not the important word in regards to this post. The important word is DAILY. We are to daily take up our cross. We are to daily die to ourselves and say to Christ, “I choose to follow You and let You guide my day.” There are days that I am Superman at doing this. There are days that as soon as my feet hit the ground I put my fist on my hips and proclaim with strength in my voice (you can just see the cape flapping behind me can’t you), “I am ready, willing and excited to allow Christ to take control today!” But, can I be honest. Those days do not happen as frequently as I would like. No, most days my feet hit the floor and my knuckles drag the floor and I mumble under my breath, “Oh, crap…another day.” I am about to admit something that may not shock a lot of people reading this post: It is during the knuckle dragging days that I am not proud of the things I do. It is during the knuckle dragging days that I echo Paul and say, “What I hate I do!”

So, does it take action on our part for the transformation to take place…I think so. Do we have to do more than just accept Christ as our Lord…I think so. Is this “action” we are to take something that has to happen every day…I think so. Is it hard to do this…I know so.

Am I more than I once was…I think so, but man does it take some work. (Which is what I think Brandon is saying) :)

Keep Looking Up!