Today...this Moment

There is a problem that I have on a regular basis. This problem comes in two different forms.
1. I have a hard time letting go of the past.
We have all done things or have had things done to us in the past that seem to stalk us like a hungry wolf in the dead of winter. Those things that we wish we could just forget about, but always pounce back on us when we are at our lowest. Why? Why can’t I seem to move on, or just forget about those things? They don’t even have to be that terrible (in the grand scheme of things). You know those little words that did not seem to be “that” bad, but ended leaving a lasting impression on our and others souls. If they are things that I have done, I think of all the ways I “should” have handled the situation. “If I would have just done ….or….If I’d just said….it would all be different.” That feeling also applies to things done to me, “If I would have just kept my guard up more, or if I’d not put myself in that situation….it would all be different.” When I’m driving my car, I can not drive (at least safely) while looking through my rear-view mirror all the time. Yet, there I am trying to “drive” my life by looking out my rear-view mirror. It just doesn’t work.
2. I have a hard time looking to far into the future
The second part of my problem does not seem to “hurt” (at least at this moment) me as much, but can be just a devastating to my life. I would say that the word that comes to mind when I think of this part of my problem is “Worry”. Now, I know that there are some out there that say, “Oh, I don’t worry about things. I know that God will take care of everything, so I don’t worry.” Yeah, right. I don’t buy it. Take your finger….put it on your wrist….do you feel a pulse? Then you worry. I worry. I worry about things that would even seem to be “a legitimate worry”. “Am I doing what God wants me to do with my life?” “What kind of world are my children growing up in?” I am not saying that these are not things that we should not think about, but the point here is (and this is the problem that I have) is letting go of the thought just before it becomes a worry. Lets go back to my driving picture, this part of my problem would be like me trying to drive my car while looking down at my GPS (don’t have one, but just imagine with me) the entire time. It just doesn’t work.

Well, that is my problem. Am I the only one that struggles with this? Am I the only one that struggles with the FOCUS of my life? That is what it really comes down to, my FOCUS. If I allow myself to focus on the past, there will always be things that I wish I could have done differently. If I allow myself to focus on the future, there will always be things that I begin to second guess which leads to worry. Both of these foci are not on the proper person. You may be saying, “Wait, the proper person?” Yes, the proper person. When I take the time to look through my rear-view mirror, I am focusing on the things that I have done or were done to me by others. I am not focused on the proper person. When I take time to look down at my GPS and just focus at the final destination, I am focusing on things that I have no control over. I am not focused on the proper person. When it comes to our past, Christ tells us that all of it is as far as the East is from the West. When it comes to our future, Christ tells us to not worry about tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of itself. So where should my focus be, on Christ. And what does Christ want us to pay attention to, Today.

Now some people may be good at leaving it at that, but I have come to see that I need to not just focus on today….I need to focus on this moment. You see, my days (not just life) are like a rollercoaster ride. I can feel great one moment and feel like I’m going to puke the next moment. So, Christ is showing me that taking up my cross is not just a daily thing, but an “every moment” thing.
I leave you all with the video by Jeremy Camp. I really feel that this video captures the “moment” idea. Jesus, may we all learn to focus on You first…not just every day, but every moment.



Jeremy Camp
"Tonight"

In this time,
I know I need to be more broken
Then I find, I feel this passion grow
To face all that’s been lost
It’s not too late to give control now
I don’t know why I wait
You’re always calling me

Chorus:
Tonight, I will take my cross
Tonight, I will count this cost
Tonight, I will realize to take hold of this very moment

In this time, you draw me by these words You’ve spoken
I feel inside, this never-ending hope
I’ve placed all that I trust in knowing one day I will see You
The only thing worth holding onto is holding onto me

Chorus:

I will take this moment, and feel that it’s closer
And I kneel to show You this desperate heart of mine

(2x’s)
Chorus:

Tonight
Tonight